Last night was strange. I received a PEP-CS (that's our secret communication file) reply from Princess in which she expressed how her ex-bf was trying to convince her to go back with him. At that time, I started to sulk because I wasn't sure which role I should play, either the uncle agony or the guy madly in love. In the end, I thought I had to be magnanimous and advised her to consider her ex's proposal before deciding. I must admit, I was rather sad when I made that decision.
Then came her reply... She was disappointed, in her own words, that I, as someone who proclaimed who likes her so much would throw away the opportunity given to me. A rare opportunity given specially to me to get to know her better..... She was DISAPPOINTED. That statement really struck a blow to my head. It made me realised why I had done what I did.... I was a COWARD. I was afraid that I would end up with nothing in the end. In the end, I realised what a disappointment I was, a bloody coward who wouldn't stand up and fight for his once-in-a-lifetime love. Not only that, it made her disappointed. It made her feel that I was really not worthy.
After I finally realised what had happened, I had to respond. I mean, I really have to grow up and fight for what I truly believe in. She is the one that I truly believe in and I sulked just because he sent her sms(es) trying to convince her to come back to him? No more, mister! I now know that there is no fair play in the world of love. He had and blew all this chances and now it is MY turn. If he wants it again, he has to queue up and try to take me down. Well, all I can say is that good luck trying for I will never give up!
I did write to and aplogised to Princess this morning and I promise never ever to think so cowardly again. I mean, by virture of her giving me all these chances, doesn't it that mean she has already looked upon me as more than a friend? I was so stupid to focus on a dot while the whole picture painted a different story!
Princess looked to have forgive me and even came to dine with me. I sooooo enjoyed the time that I spent with her. What was I thinking last evening?! No more! That thought has been forever banished and purged from my mind!
Princess, I will not let you down. I only want a good ending like track #10.......
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