Let it rain.....

It rained during the early hours of Monday morning when I was asleep. Makes for great sleeping.

It also rained the day before and boy was it heavy, so much so that it woke me up. Great thing about my current place of stay is that it offers an unblocked view stretching down the street, with flats and houses lined up to the side. I actually got up after that and stared far ahead for at least 10 minutes, just looking at the rain and wind fall on an empty street (hey, it was after all 3am..).

I love to watch rain fall. Don't know why but I have loved it since I was a kid. Not that it represents any special moment in life but I just find it soothing and relaxing to just stare out a window and watch the rain fall.....

Many years later, there were two other different type of gazing that I learned to love but unfortunately cannot do in Singapore, namely star gazing and watching snow fall. Star gazing in Singapore is impossible since there is too much city light but experience it once and you will probably be hooked for life. I never knew stars can actually be so bright....

However, if I have to make a choice among the three, I would say watching snow fall wins hands down.... Imagine deep into the night and you stare out the window watching snow fall silently onto the streets. Just cannot describe the feeling, so tranquil. I'm very sure if you do it with a love one, it will be doubly enjoyable...... Silently watching it while in embrace....

Well, I'm on leave for most of this week so better enjoy it while I can.

Friday again...

Well, it's Friday again and here I am relaxing for the evening..... Unfortunately, I need to return to the office over the next couple of days to follow up on things. Sigh.... even a holiday is not a true one for me...

Well, have not been adding a lot of stuff to my blog these last couple of weeks. The reason is clear though.... haha.

In the past, when I was still single and just started working, the Friday routine would be simple.... From office to library then Parkway Parade and then to the beef noodle shop across Roxy Square. Predictable but then again I never realised it was the happy simple life that I would miss later in life. Now, 10 years and a sad divorce later, I'm trying to find a new routine for my Fridays. Have not found one yet but I will certainly continue to try.

Still thinking of whether I should buy the Wii though...

What do I want in Life right now?

I'm at home right now, laying back on my bed, watching TV while I compose this. Who's that on TV now over Arts Central? Some singer that I find attractive. Hmmm, why is that the only thing that I notice now? Haha...

Life is so monotonous nowadays that I really am worried is this it? Is this how I'll be for the foreseeable future? Man, this is BORING!!!

What do I want right now? I want a life partner! I want someone to share my life with! I want someone to share my joys and sorrow! My goodness! I need someone!

That feels much better..... I'm still OK to be alone.... I guess.... Haha... I am deceiving myself.

Good night, Singapore.....

The rise and fall of a merchant in Joo Chiat....

Last Friday I proudly proclaimed, to my colleague, that I practically grew in Joo Chiat and knew it like the back of my hand. Of course I did since I lived in one of the shophouse along that stretch.

Like I blogged before, my dad owned a business along it since the mid 1960s. The shop no longer exist (for sad reasons) but my younger brother has established another shop running his own business in recent years. Yeah, so you can say our family still has a presence there.

My dad had a pretty successful glass merchant business but squandered it all away when he deserted the business that brought him his riches, preferring to make a quick buck through properties and shares. Till today, I am very disappointed (in fact, angry) at how much hurt and grief he brought to the family.

In fact, his actions severely affected my outlook towards life and family, so much so that I was having serious reservations towards starting my own family and having children. Sadly, these contributed to the downfall of my own marriage.

In recent years, I have learned to live and let die..... I may no longer be on speaking terms with him but at least I'm coming to terms that I control my own destiny and will not fall into the same trap as him. For one thing, I will be a far better dad than he ever was, that I can be 100% sure!

Missing U

I really miss your presence around here. Hope that you are doing well in Bangkok.....

Stupid me.....

Stupid dog. . . . .

I have a pet dog April. Really the joy of my life. Stupid but extremely loyal .... Haha, sometimes when I watch her play by herself I just laugh out uncontrollably!

A Maltese breed but not pure white in color. Not obedient trained and always like to bark at kids. Stupid dog! Ha!

She likes to hump my bolster but I'm not sure where she learned it from.... Strange....

During the nights she would love to snuggle beside me to sleep. Sometimes she dreams and seemed to be having bad dreams....

Most funny antic would be for her to rest on her butt in an upright position and drag herself all over the floor. That is hilarious!

Of course there is her usual chase the ball tricks. Love her to death...

Other memorable movies.....

During my childhood and teenage years, I didn't have much money for movies even though they were much cheaper than the $10 price tag today. Ouch, $10 for a movie is way too high in my opinion. I pity those middle income families who have to bring their whole family plus popcorn and drinks....

Besides Top Secret which I mentioned in my earlier blog, there was this movie titled "Electric Dreams". I cannot recall who starred in it but it had a stupid plot that will be thoroughly slammed if it was screened today. Something about a computer acquiring super artificial intelligence after water was spilled into it. Well, I loved it because it had the nerd-wins-girl type of storyline... Yes, I'm a (stupid) nerd so I always root for the underdog. The soundtrack from that movie was nice.

"Ghostbusters" was another great movie title that is considered iconic from that era. Great cast, storyline, and special effects (for that era). What's not to like. Great movie.

"Tootsie" was another good one that starred Dustin Hoffman. In the movie, the lead actor had to cross-dress as a woman in order to win a starring part in a daytime soap opera. Again, super strong cast and equally good storyline.

Hmmm, seems like I can only remember those so far though I'm sure I have watched far more than that. Maybe next time when I can remember more.

Oh, there is this movie "Empire of the Sun" that I watched during one of the summer holiday when I was in USA. Man, that was torturous because I was all alone in a big country and I had no means of transportation. Ended up I was couped up in my apartment all the time. Sigh, another of those sad days..... Anyway, the movie, which I thought would be boring, was actually very engrossing. The main lead was actually an expatriate kid who happened to be based in China with his wealthy family. It happened that it was close to China's collapse to Japan during Work War II and he ended up eating humble pie after the invasion i.e. had to fight for his survival. The movie only chronicled maybe a couple of years of his life but it was thought provoking to see how he went from a spoilt brat to a street smart kid just because of his instinct to survive. As I said, it was engrossing if you are willing to sit down and let yourself immerse into the movie.

Top secret... the movie

Saw this poster while surging today. It's a Mac OS spoof of the movie Top Secret. One of the sillest slapstick movie that I have ever watched! It actually starred one of the earlier Batman leads from the 90s named Van Kilmer(?). This movie was screened in the mid 80s, I quite sure.

Man, this movie really brought back memories. The plot was pretty decent; it was set in World War II and the characters were resistance fighters fighting against the Germans. For those in the know, the cow actually meant something :). This movie actually had some jokes with strong sexual intonations.

I wonder if this was a Mel Brooks production as the style was somewhat similar. Again, for thos not in the know, got hunt for movies by Mel Brooks, most of them are quite funny and good for a watch....

Hehehe.... maybe I should try to find a copy and watch it again.

Her....

Remembered gazing into her eyes during dinner last Friday... hope she didn't see me drool right on the spot... really mesmerised by them....

What I like about her is that she is always soooo real. She doesn't pretend to be someone she is not and don't mind being straight about that.

What I do want to say is that I'm addicted to her but I don't dare to invite her out again beyond a 2nd time or rather don't know how to. I'm worried she might get irritated.....haha... After all, I don't know how she feels about all these meetings. For me, I'm worried that I'm really going to sink too deep in for my own good.....

Actually, I wished that she is older so that it will make me more comfortable and daring.... Right now, I'm very insecure.... If this fades out, I will be sad and disappointed.... Really, this is someone that I want to keep for life as a dear friend.

Friday the 13th

Well, was in the company of a great lady tonight. I really enjoyed the evening thoroughly even though it almost did not come true....

We settled for a 7 pm appointment for dinner and agreed to meet outside Borders. Well, at exactly 7 pm, she smsed that she's on her way. Great! But then there was a ring from the office. Damn! I'm holding some data that needs to be submitted for review. Damn it!

Well, no choice but to SMS her to tell her the bad news. She seemed ok but not me! I was telling her that I feel like candy has been snatched away from me.

Anyway, I was cursing at my bad luck until I reached the office. Surprisingly, I managed to close out the issue within minutes and tried my luck again. She was still game for dinner! Well , traffic was smooth on the way back and I found a car park lot way too easily. Haha, guessed lady luck was shining on me after all!

Went to Genki Sushi for dinner and I honestly think we had a good dinner. The talk was smooth and lively. At least it reinforced my own belief that we can really interact with each other.

After dinner (I paid; made sure she owes me 1 dinner date... haha), we parted but I SMSed her thanking her for the company and hoped we can do it again and she did NOT reject my proposal! Haha.... I'm glad it turned out so good after all. A memorable Friday the 13th!

Boring.....

I have to admit it.... My blogs are pretty BORING..... When I started out thinking about what to write, I thought I could have presented the past in a more humorous style of writing but alas it didn't turn out that way. Not sure why. Maybe it's because even though I have so much to write about but just too lazy to put some creativity into it... Haha.....

Sigh, hope this is not a reflection of my current state of mind.... I know that I'm definitely a much, much funnier guy that what is showing through these boring blogs. Maybe I need a bigger screen and better keyboard...... This tablet notebook, though wonderful, is not the most comfortable to input stuff over a long period.

Primary school teachers

Well, last evening I wrote something about the brass band and that triggered my recollections of this particular Eurasian teacher. At least I think she is Eurasian because she was definitely not Chinese, Malay, or Indian.

Of course, I had many teachers during my primary school but this teacher was different that she dressed very seductively..... She was probably in her early 30s and on occasions I remember that she would be dressed in those blouse that was revealing part of her breast! Really like half ball type of situation. Haha...

Imagine a primary school teacher who does that during the 70s... She would gather the class and make us sit in a group on the floor while she sits on a chair in front of us.... With her short skirt and revealing blouse you can imagine how I would have reacted if I had been in upper primary or secondary instead of primary one or two......

Seraya Primary School

It's been a while since I wrote something about my past rather than whine about the lack of a future.

I had written a couple of blogs about my primary school before. Wonder what else should I write about as there are essentially thousands of things that I can write about.

Brass band..... Ah, maybe I should talk a little about this little ECA that I had back then. When people think of brass bands we think of tens upon tens of people in synchronised motion and playing instruments of some kind. Well, I can remember that when I joined the brass band, it had dwindled in numbers to only a handful. I remember there was the drum major (my favorite Pek Chi Han!), one fat malay guy, one stylo malay who styles his hair like John Travolta of Saturday Night Fever, me who plays the trumpet, and maybe a few more? Really, there were so few of us that it was impossible to do any fancy formations, maybe just a line march and a few turns here and there.

My coordination skills wasn't really that fantastic then and I was having problems doing any sort of concurrent trumpet and march routine. I guessed the kind-hearted principal gave up on us once he saw how incompetent we were (hahaha... a joke; he was really a good person). Oh, the brass band teacher was this part timer skinny elderly guy that taught us to play our chosen instrument. And there was this sexy Eurasian teacher that also helped out in the band (more of her maybe next time but boy if I knew what sex was back then I would probably be caught red handed doing some stupid things....).

I am not sure why I was tasked to play the trumpet but I wasn't real good at it. The joke back then was blowing the trumpet would make your testicles bloat..... In Hokkien it was termed as "Tua Lam Par".....

GUNDAM

子供のとき私はカンダンというアニメを一番好きでした。そのときシンガポールのテレビ局は日本からのアニメ番組を放送しないでした。

愛情は何ですか?

私には愛情を知りないです。本当に分からない。

今まで真愛をまだ見つけます。どうしてありませんか。どうして?

神様, 助けてください! 尾根がします!

我也会写中文。

我很久没有用中文写文章了。有了这一部电脑之后,写中文就容易多了!

看来要多学习。。。很多生字都忘了。哈哈!看来我一定要—本字典才行!

Happy days

When I started writing this blog, I wanted to write about the past because it was a much happier period of my life. Back then, I was actually looking forward to marrying and leading a happy family life. Children were optional in my opinion but I'm very positive if I had married a good wife I would really want to have them.

Now? I guess it's best to hope it doesn't get any worse....

Heavenly Kings

Just watched the movie "江湖" over Channel U. It starred Jacky Chueng & Andy Lau, two of the four Heavenly kings of Cantopop for over decades. The other two were Aaron Kwok and Leon Lai.

I grew up in the same era when they were at the peak of their singing careers i.e. mid 80s to 90s. Of course, Andy was always heavily involved in television and movies and so was Jacky in movies for a long time after he became famous. The 80s and 90s were probably the golden era of Hong Kong movies. Both of them starred in all genres, ranging from gangster to slapstick types.

Leon was never the most accomplished of actor by my reckoning although he starred in quite a few over the years. By the way, he started from television just like Andy. Aaron, surprisingly became a very accomplished actor over the last couple of years and even won a couple of Golden Horse "金马" awards, the Taiwan equivalent of the Oscars.

Still can remember the times when I practically watched at least one movie per week, mostly Hong Kong ones because they really churned those out fast and furious.

I'm still in big trouble....

This is bordering ridiculous.... I'm starting to act like a 16-year old kid trying to get a first date!

I've actually sent her an invite via Messenger but looks like no response. Sigh, I feel soooo stupid.... But at the same time I feel so dejected. There are simply too many obstacles regardless of whether I admit it or not.

I'll say this, what's not to like on this gal? she is down-to-earth, kind, talented, strong-willed, loyal etc. All those make her extremely beautiful in my eyes. However, she probably does not even know I have this thing for her. Sad....

Looks like this blog is starting to become the place to vent my sorrows.. . .

I'm in big trouble.....

I've been charmed and I know it. That spells big trouble because I know the obstacles are too many and great to overcome. That is no way this will turn out the way I want it to.

Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma.....

Can the One help?

I've never been a religious person because I believe what's fated will be and will not change even if you appeal for help from the One.

In my life, I have undergone a few relationships, all failures. My marriage practically ended before it started. The other doomed-for-failure relationship lasted all but months? The thought-it-was relationship was basically on a false pretence; we were not really compatible and I was using it to bounce back from my earlier setback.... Boy, did I really do all of those and hurt some people in the process? I guess this is payback time....

But if there really is One, I would like to appeal for one LAST chance to have a lasting and loving relationship. Just one last chance, I will make it work this time around. I'm more ready to work together in a relationship because this is one hell of a gem. Can you help me, please?

I want a partner in life. I want someone to share my joy and sorrow. I want someone to be with me when I watch TV, read a book, or even when playing my game. I want to kiss someone that I love without reservation.

Would you help?

Soccer

I love playing soccer. However, I'm already 40 years old so I guess that I will be hanging up my boots hopefully only a few years down the road (barring injuries, of course).

Soccer itself played a major impact in my life. Without the game, I would have been an even more reclusive person than I am now. Looking at me, NO ONE would have believed that I can play soccer (not like Thiery Henry but at least has some ball sense).

Soccer was the tool that got me to interact with my classmates and formed a special bond with them. The skill also came in handy during my working days in Seagate and now PKI. At least people see me as the one who can play some football....

がっかりしました

私はその彼女をとっても好きです。本当に大好きです。もう十時すぎました。しかし、彼女はまだインタネットに来ません。私はがっかりました。

This certain someone....

Tonight I am going to divert again and talk about someone. Fact, I'm a divorcee. Fact, I'm not young anymore. Fact, I'm NOWHERE near being a handsome guy. Why then do I enjoy chatting with her so much? This is strange and bugging me...... I really feel guilty that I am enjoying this so much.

However, what attracted me is her heart of gold. Helping the needy is something that I personally have never done but I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for people who do so out of their own goodwill. Also, she dances! Ballet! I love people of the arts to death! Miss Tutu in my books deserves a lot of respect for her sacrifices to the arts. Cross my heart.

She is a good girl and really I can only say the feeling is not mutual (duh.... as if it takes a genius to figure that one out) . Nevertheless, although I think nothing will or should happen but deep down I feel like deceiving myself.

Gosh, I cannot believe I still think I have another chance in romance! 人老,人穷,人丑,还想做梦。。。。Better slap myself awake......

Seraya Primary School

My primary and early secondary school days probably represent the happiest days of my life. During those days, school was confined to the designated period and seldom, if ever, were we required to attend remedial lessons. Very carefree. I especially loved to attend the morning sessions because I have the whole afternoon to play (with some homework in between, of course).

Probably examination period is the only stress period in any school year. Other than that, what a wonderful life!

Strangely, I have always remembered Primary four as the happiest year in primary school. Not sure why but it seemed like everything fell in place for me during that year. Oh, I used to have this Korean chick in my classroom way back before Koreans became cool. Again, I loved that gal because she was also very kind hearted. Pek ChiHan..... I can still remember her name.

She was new and only started to attend school in Singapore that year and I still remember her goody-two shoe type of dressing. Plain blouse and floral skirt. Being Korean, she was rather big sized and couldn't speak much English and definitely no Chinese. I actually make fun of her behind her back... so bad of me! Amazingly, she managed to pick up both languages within a short period of time and was actually one of the best students in class. In a way, I was really fortunate to have known a person like her. If I kept in contact with her, I would have wooed her since she was such a good girl. She was two years older than me, though.

変なことですね。。。

私はやはりもう一度愛していますか?

Up and running... Time for breakfast!

Well, it's Sunday morning and here at Haig road. Tons of things to unpack but I'm optimistic that I will get most of them done by this morning. This really provides an opportunity for me to throw away most of the stuff that I'm sure I will not need ever again in my life. Just collecting dust :).

Plan to go eat roti prata after this blog as it has beeen years since I've patronised this certain stall just behind Haig road. You know, same as when I was a child, I can NEVER remember road names, just going by landmarks.

Roti prata is of course a popular food in Singapore but wonder how many people remembered that people used to bring their own eggs for the guy to put in the prata instead of paying for the egg-version? I also can't quite remember the details but it has something to do with the price if you buy from the stall. I only remember there's the plain (i.e. kosong) and egg type in the past unlike the myriad (and sometimes) strange offerings we have today.

Hungry.... better wash up and get going.