Monday, October 27, 2008

Dropping ratings

Noticed that I am blogging a LOT less than in the past..... Damn it, must not let this blog die.....

Ditching my apprehensions

My dear is away on a holiday since last Friday. I wouldn't say I am lost without her beside me but it feels different no doubt. Many a times I have told myself to never take anyone for granted, especially my dear.

Ever since she was identified to be my One, I have told myself to cherish and make sure she stays the One but unfortunately I have struggling badly at times due to differences in certain areas. In terms of personality and value system, I do feel that we are very much compatible. Some minor issues at times but it has been as good as I envisioned in the past. Probably the biggest sticks are of lifestyle and religion. I am a strange person. At times I can be active.... going places and moving around but at other times I can be so plain lazy like a blob of fat, preferring to just laze around and rot although it is more of the latter in recent times. Anyway, dear likes to travel and see the world but I only prefer to do that occasionally.

As for religion, well, it just scares me.... I am not a very religious person but then again she is. The need to go churches, bringing up children to believe in God etc... not really my cup of tea but I guess need to compromise like everything else.

Almost 9am... sigh, better start work else I waste more of my time.....

Discipline

Discipline in the sense that I lack it.... Today is the last day of a 4-day holiday (like real) for me but except for a true half-day effort on Saturday to work, the rest of the days were just spent doing other stuff. Well, they were things that I had to do like visiting the doctor, having a short back rub, clearing up my computer etc but I did not spend enough time doing things that are critical, namely studying and working.

Yes, really must buck up today as this is the last day that I can do something before I go back to work in a lousy organisation. Some many things that I wish I can do and the want is lacking nowadays..... Maybe hoping for a golden handshake is not the best of wishes but at times I think the will is giving in. Who knows, with the current economic downturn, I may not even need to wish for it.

The Ds..... Discipline, Determination, Desire.... I owe it to myself to make something out of today.

Also need to be very discipline with my money. With the economy going south and a large portion of my cash portfolio stuck, I need to ensure that my asset stays fluid enough to pick up all opportunities that are available.

I think Year 2009 will be a year of opportunities and hopefully I will have a home of my own again and share with my dear.... Hopefully, it will be on the upswing for me and less treacherous and uneventful compared to this year.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Departure

Departure as in departure from the track. I have become very confused in recent times with my life, partly due to my personal life, partly due to my work life, and partly due to my relationship.

I am truly very sorry to have caused any grief to my dear dear. Truly I love her with all my heart and never do I want to bring any shred of pain, despair, sadness, disappointment to her. I only want the best for her because she truly has cared for me a lot in the past many months we have been together. Sometimes I wonder if I am really a burden to her? Would she be much better off with someone who can care for her better than me?

I don't want to lose her but the things associated with marriage are really stressing me out. How I wish that tradition only calls for a couple to be married with a kiss and a committed heart and stop at that.

Time for work..... Time for another boring week....

Friday, October 10, 2008

Dahon

OK, purchasing the Dahon is definitely the correct decision if not I wouldn't know what heading to use for this entry. Somehow "Decided on Aeon" probably didn't come across as so direct...... Yes, excuses but I feel good after buying the bikes though they are a little expensive and somehow they are taking a little more space that I had initially expected.

Got a black Vitesse for me and a sand Speed for Princess. Yes, cost me over a thousand but if I put in at the back of my car, I can use it anytime although it is much bulkier than I initially thought. Can't fit both in my car..... Well, as long as it is useful I am fine. Can't wait to go cycling with Princess tomorrow, it's been a while since we spent time something different on weekends.