Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Depressed
Sometimes I don't know how my brain works. I really don't have much to worry about but yet I feel depressed. Or is it due to the broken lock on the door? So why do I worry? Is it because I feel that I am the only one who cares about keeping things in good working order? Or is it because no one else cares about the house besides me? Is there something wrong with me? I don't know, just feeling depressed today. Maybe it is because of my aching back? Maybe? No..... Then what? This sucks.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Decades passed, lost, and new
I have not been updating my blog for the longest of time, definitely more because of laziness than anything else.
Come to think of it, I didn't blog about my new job even though it was a huge departure from my comfort zone after more than 10 years on the job.
Neither did I blog about the new year. 2010 was ushered in without much fanfare on my part but it represents a new decade after a disastrous 10 years which I will forever look back in regret and pain. People always tell me to look on the bright side of things and life but till now I just feel it left such a large blank in my both my family and personal life that I cannot but feel helpless whenever I think about the "Decade of Lost".
Hopefully, the decades ahead will be much better. Gotten married to a new wife and with that a new start. Nothing much to complain although the sex part can be more exciting....
What really prompted me to put some thoughts into words is music. Tonight, being alone again and with not much housework to do, I find myself drawn to my world of oldies again. When one starts to think back and reminisce about the growing up years with such fondness it can only be taken as a sign that one is really too old to term those years simply as "some years ago".... In reality, it has been decades ago since my childhood days. Maybe it was because those years were really blissful and meant too much to me that I keep thinking of how I was then and things that happened during that period. Maybe the pain of the last decade made me want to go back to the cosy years of past. Well, it is probably more than a maybe. Everyone wants to be forever blessed with a good and happy life, right?
Come to think of it, I didn't blog about my new job even though it was a huge departure from my comfort zone after more than 10 years on the job.
Neither did I blog about the new year. 2010 was ushered in without much fanfare on my part but it represents a new decade after a disastrous 10 years which I will forever look back in regret and pain. People always tell me to look on the bright side of things and life but till now I just feel it left such a large blank in my both my family and personal life that I cannot but feel helpless whenever I think about the "Decade of Lost".
Hopefully, the decades ahead will be much better. Gotten married to a new wife and with that a new start. Nothing much to complain although the sex part can be more exciting....
What really prompted me to put some thoughts into words is music. Tonight, being alone again and with not much housework to do, I find myself drawn to my world of oldies again. When one starts to think back and reminisce about the growing up years with such fondness it can only be taken as a sign that one is really too old to term those years simply as "some years ago".... In reality, it has been decades ago since my childhood days. Maybe it was because those years were really blissful and meant too much to me that I keep thinking of how I was then and things that happened during that period. Maybe the pain of the last decade made me want to go back to the cosy years of past. Well, it is probably more than a maybe. Everyone wants to be forever blessed with a good and happy life, right?
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