Sunday, September 16, 2007

Lazy

As much as I would like to say I am a very disciplined and motivated person, there are times when I would like to just sit back and relax and laze around and do absolutely nothing....

Tonight is probably one of those days. I have cleared most of my emails on Saturday and this Sunday (though since a lot of other commitments to do) and thus I can afford to just sit back and really relax a little.

Ever since I became the lowly manager of my department and found myself a dear girlfriend, I do not have much time to just sit around and be my old self. Not saying this is a bad thing but most certainly I do want to just sit around and rot my day away. Alas, there is probably not possible for some time to come because time has indeed become a very precious and scarce commodity in recent times.

Still hate my job because it's a never ending cycle to complete jobs and commitments. Princess has rightly said that I am probably just complaining but still not motivated to look for another job. Yeah, that is true. Just hate myself for feeling lousy while it is MYSELF who is not moving.... So paradoxical... Just plain lazy or just lacking the courage to move?

My relationship with Princess is probably back to an acceptable loving level but yesterday I was a coward for not saying hello to a colleague (who is her ex-colleague too). I felt so bad.... Why should I be worried if I am no longer married? What has past is in the past so why so I still avoid.... Really should have slapped myself there and then. However, I must really, really thank my Princess for being so benevolent and didn't even blame me for reacting in such a manner..... I must have disappointed her there and then..... Stupid me....

Hopefully, in the very near future, I will earn, save or even strike Toto (wishful) to get enough $ to buy a good house for Princess..... Love her very much...

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Am I the culprit?

Princess has commented that I have not been updating my blog for a while and this is (partially) true. In recent days, there have been more friction between Princess and myself and I really wonder if this is because the honeymoon phase is truly over and expectations have begun to change on my (and maybe her) part.

I did think through this but does it mean that I have changed in terms of how I see Princess now? Well, it's not a matter of whether my love has changed or not, that is still intact the way I see it. It is probably how different I view her now. Maybe I am taking her for granted? Maybe I am guilty of being inattentive?

Anyway, I will elaborate more on this the next round because I need to go to the office now. But I wonder, the fact that I squeezed out 5 minutes of my early morning to address one of Princess's concerns does really mean that I listen to her and act upon her wishes, doesn't it? Hmmm....

One last thing, I promised my Princess over and over again to get my resume done but I have yet to deliver. I truly hate this because I have disappointed her (and myself) too many a times. I promised to sweat blood to get it done during her business trip but yet I have not completed. This is totally my fault and I apologise to Princess....

Love my dear very, very much... I still hopes that she will marry me on of these days....

Logging off now.