Love lost and never found

Ha, didn't expect such a swing within 24 hours. Last evening, the way I interpreted things, it does seem like she is interested but yet another scenario is painted today.

Of course I'm sadden by this sudden (?) turn of events but at the same time I cannot deny that this has been one of the better periods in my life over the last few years. At least I can speak to someone that i truly admire and respect...... She is so wonderfully good a person that I cannot but help feel good towards her.

I must and will respect her decision; this sort of things cannot be forced, I have learned it the hard way.

A tingle of sadness inside a bundle of joy because at least I have someone who considers me a close friend.... One shouldn't be greedy else there will be retribution. However, there is also nothing against praying for a miracle....

VOEP III

Girls, can't live with them, can't live without them... Sigh, I really am lost right now!

Why must relationship be so complicated?

Please, just give me a chance! Please?

VOEP II

I cannot believe this!!!! She actually indicated that we are close friends!!!! I cannot f**king believe this!!!! Not matter how it turned out, I will be forever grateful for this opportunity!!!

Man!! Can I even sleep since I'm so estatic right now?

VOEP...

Ok, this is the official acronym for her! Haha, not sure how many would actually be able to decipher this but what the heck right?

This blog has certainly turned out to be soooo different from how I wanted it to be. Rather then reminiscing about the past, it turns out I'm secretly hoping for a new future. Ha, this crazy old fool actually thinks it is possible. Well, if our "elite" leaders of the PAP government can actually justify their 2+ million dollar annual salary, I most certainly think anything is possible. Yeah, pigs can fly too.

Let it rain.....

It rained during the early hours of Monday morning when I was asleep. Makes for great sleeping.

It also rained the day before and boy was it heavy, so much so that it woke me up. Great thing about my current place of stay is that it offers an unblocked view stretching down the street, with flats and houses lined up to the side. I actually got up after that and stared far ahead for at least 10 minutes, just looking at the rain and wind fall on an empty street (hey, it was after all 3am..).

I love to watch rain fall. Don't know why but I have loved it since I was a kid. Not that it represents any special moment in life but I just find it soothing and relaxing to just stare out a window and watch the rain fall.....

Many years later, there were two other different type of gazing that I learned to love but unfortunately cannot do in Singapore, namely star gazing and watching snow fall. Star gazing in Singapore is impossible since there is too much city light but experience it once and you will probably be hooked for life. I never knew stars can actually be so bright....

However, if I have to make a choice among the three, I would say watching snow fall wins hands down.... Imagine deep into the night and you stare out the window watching snow fall silently onto the streets. Just cannot describe the feeling, so tranquil. I'm very sure if you do it with a love one, it will be doubly enjoyable...... Silently watching it while in embrace....

Well, I'm on leave for most of this week so better enjoy it while I can.

Friday again...

Well, it's Friday again and here I am relaxing for the evening..... Unfortunately, I need to return to the office over the next couple of days to follow up on things. Sigh.... even a holiday is not a true one for me...

Well, have not been adding a lot of stuff to my blog these last couple of weeks. The reason is clear though.... haha.

In the past, when I was still single and just started working, the Friday routine would be simple.... From office to library then Parkway Parade and then to the beef noodle shop across Roxy Square. Predictable but then again I never realised it was the happy simple life that I would miss later in life. Now, 10 years and a sad divorce later, I'm trying to find a new routine for my Fridays. Have not found one yet but I will certainly continue to try.

Still thinking of whether I should buy the Wii though...

What do I want in Life right now?

I'm at home right now, laying back on my bed, watching TV while I compose this. Who's that on TV now over Arts Central? Some singer that I find attractive. Hmmm, why is that the only thing that I notice now? Haha...

Life is so monotonous nowadays that I really am worried is this it? Is this how I'll be for the foreseeable future? Man, this is BORING!!!

What do I want right now? I want a life partner! I want someone to share my life with! I want someone to share my joys and sorrow! My goodness! I need someone!

That feels much better..... I'm still OK to be alone.... I guess.... Haha... I am deceiving myself.

Good night, Singapore.....