Came back home early on a Saturday 'cos my dear went for an evening appointment with her friends. Well, logged in and saw her blog invitation. I went reading what she wrote and finally read the article about the unfortunate incident during our Dec road trip.
Nothing about the article but rather reading the comments by her friends (and such), it is definite that she is held in high regards by them. Smart and articulate, I would summarise. Being the self doubting soul that I am, wondered if her friends will look down on me. I am super nothing, frankly. Nothing great about me that would wow anyone.
Really, I would hate it if I ever learn of comments that are akin to me not being good enough for her. What would I do if I do learn of such comments? Recluse myself farther and farther into my own world and not interact with them? Likely?
Really, this self-doubt thing is really not good but my mind is very good at playing games and painting all sort of negative scenarios, even from something as innocuous as her blog entry. Strange. Well, the only way to eradicate that is to raise my self esteem; to make myself realise that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
The new Chinese New Year is almost upon us and I will make a conscious effort to make this a good one for both of us. If I bring her happiness, in turn I will earn happiness....
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