Well, I am up.... Slept at 3plus and up by 8plus.... let me see, 5 hours worth of sleep.... and 4 hours from the day before means I have only slept 9 hours over 48 hours..... Damn, am I going to look ugly......
She is right, even I am thinking about the blog first thing I wake up. Believe it or not, I am not even thinking about the Wii now. No Wii Sports and no Zelda.... Does that mean she is, at this point in time, more attractive than Nintendo?! Hard to believe that can be true.... Guess I need to buy the PS3 today to test out this theory further..... Haha... stupid excuse to buy another toy... Sometimes I really give all sorts of BS.....
Focus! What are we talking about here?.... Well, chatted super long with her last night till 3am this morning...... Pleasant? Yes... It really put a smile on my face when I was doing that. I just feel happy when I do that. Just like from the past..... I simply don't know why. Or rather, I just don't want to admit it or rather I cannot admit it. It will change the whole ball game if I ever do say the wrong thing. Don't complicate the situation further.....
I have been secretly asking myself that even if a miracle were to happen, and we do fit each other like a T, would marriage even be possible? We, consciously or unconsciously, chatted about housing and children and other stuff but at the end of the day would this even be acceptable? Meaning would people in the know support, scorn, or laugh about this so-called union? She did mention her parents are liberal but I still say she would get slapped for even considering this.... Honest truth. I am sure mom will be pleased if she knows about this. Wonder if this will help her to hold on if I promise to marry and have a child?
Sigh, I am really thinking one thousand steps ahead of myself.... The key thing now is for me to understand if the infatuation for this gal will genuinely stay or wane once I have "conquered" the peak.... I don't want to hurt anyone like before..... Positives already reviewed.... so no issue with those... My negatives.... bad temper, impatient, would those be a problem? Not sure but certainly hope not. Besides, she claims to be worst and throws tantrums too..... Gut feeling still thinks the strong positives (probably even better than me in some aspect) are worth it compared to any shortcomings.
But sometimes I really don't know why she can (or would) accept a person like me. I mean, age is one thing but physical appearance wise I don't exactly look too dandy either....... Would she feel embarrassed going out with this middle age balding guy if our status do change? Would she mind the stares that people may/will give? Wouldn't she mind? Sigh....
After all the typing, I am fully awake now.... Wash up and breakfast....
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