I really felt the whole world had collasped on me this afternoon..... At the point when I cried, I just had this sense of despair and resignation that I never had in my life, more than anything else. Within myself, I just felt that the only thing that I thought I have control over, the thing that I thought I am very sure about, the one thing that would not forsake me, left me. I was so emotionally drained that I just questioned why I am still want to live. Through the years, my quality of life has deteriorated until a point that at 42-years old, I am still struggling to secure a retirement nest. How sad that is.
Yes, true, my predicament is no way as bad as and can never be as bad as the African boy but we are in different worlds and have different set of problems. Compared to him, no one in this country will be worst off than him but yet I still have to face my difficulties regardless of whether I am in a better position or not. I know it is not worth it but I still have to deal with it in whatever way that I can....
Tired... sleep... hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
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