Work

Here I am in the early morning but already showered and preparing to leave for office. Can't sleep last night. I keep waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about work. Really, it is as if work has taken control of my life in recent months and I am struggling to keep up with the number of unfinished tasks.

I really wonder if this is due to my incapability or really the workload is too heavy. Even in the past when work was aplenty I didn't feel this way at all.

The weekend past too quickly for me to do much, including my long overdue resume and I think back wondering if there were things that I could have done more efficiently over the last two days. Really I don't think I lazed around and did nothing .....

The year in review.... Part II

The past year was my first in the capacity of a manager and I must say I don't enjoy the position very much. Workload was so heavy that I was forced to put in far more work hours than before just to keep pace. Coupled with the high (and unreasonable) expectation from the senior management and lack of resources, I find myself being kept in a high state of stress since the later part of last year.

What don't I like? Besides the long working hours, I hate the fact that I still need to be doing (or is expected to do) the same things that I have been doing in my previous capacity. I hate to be the "face" of the department whereby all external functions will come to me for decisions. I hate the weekly and monthly reports and the monthly night calls. I hate to be harassed, more so that ever, on my handphone by people, locally or otherwise. I hate the office politics that is prevalent among the managers; really, I don't know what is there to fight for since the company is so small. I hate the fact that my Inbox is double of what it used to be and I am forced to go through and be aware of the happenings in all areas. I hate the lack of time to grow myself as a manager and the lack of time to learn new knowledge. Lastly, I really hate the lack of compensation for the sacrifices that I have made the last year.

As part of my new year resolution I will (and must) balance work and personal life. A must.... For the sake of my Princess and myself, I must.....

My Princess is "bugging" me now so I will log off now; more to come later....

New Year Resolutions....

Year 2007 came and went in a blink of an eye and with the new year I have decided to list out several resolutions that I hope to achieve by the end of the year.

In no particular order:
- get a passing grade in JLPT Level 1 or 2.
- do up my resume.
- leave my present company if there is a good opportunity.
- save more $ so that I can buy a house within a year or two.
- have a more balanced work-personal life.
- always read and learn more and not be stuck in the same mode of work, work, and more work.

I guess those should be good targets to aim for this year....

The year in review.... Part I

This will always be remembered as the year that my life changed, mostly for personal reasons.

Mom passed away after years of fighting against cancer. A relief for her but I must say I realised that there are many things that I should have done but didn't do for her. At times, I will still quietly do things like greeting her goodbye when I leave for work and "talking" to her when I walk past her framed picture. Don't think I am crazy but at times I really wished I have done more for her, especially in terms of material comfort. Really, I wished I had provided her a better and more comfortable home for her to live out the last days. Alas, she really left in a hurry.... As what my dear always tells me, make sure I don't make the same mistakes that I don't want repeated.... Hopefully, I will always keep that in mind.

On the other end of the scale is of course my dear. What to say? Her presence really changed my life. Never would I imagine that I will actually get involved with another girl, let alone someone as young, someone as smart, someone as kind-hearted as her.

True, ever since we got together there most certainly were times when I was worried; worried if I had incurred her wrath, worried if I had made her upset, worried that I didn't do enough to make her happy, worried when will she come out of her "cold" mode etc. Really, there were times that I was waiting for her to throw in the towel and said it is over. In the end, she changed. I definitely can feel that she has changed and became very accommodating because she loves me very much, so much that she is willing to accept my character flaws. All I can say that I am forever grateful and will never abuse her trust in me as promised. I will always be a faithful and loving boyfriend (and future husband) to her. Honestly, I don't think I am as sensitive and attentive as she wants me to be but I must say I have tried and is still trying.....

Just do it....

Home sick...... Have been suffering from diarrhea for the past 3 days now and finally the body looks to be healing.

I just feel so irritated the past several days, not by my illness but rather by the fact that work is never far behind me even when I am sick. I don't like this kind of lifestyle at all. Never in my life would I envision that my adult life would turn out to be one endless loop of work-work-work with short intermissions in between.

Well, just do it.... Just resign.... Just do something different with Princess.... While I may not be the smartest of people and earn the most of money, I most certainly won't go hungry earning a lot less than now. At least I will be leading a much more balanced life and hopefully happier and longer.

Just do it.

OK, I am LAZY, I admit it....

Yes, I do admit that I am becoming lazy and not performing my duties as a committed boyfriend should do. However, I must re-iterate that my feelings for my princess remains unchanged. She is still the love of my life and my precious, that I can vouch with my life.

It is just that I get so comfortable around her that I just tend to laze around and then do my stuff.... Again, upon reflection I really think this is wrong of me and I am glad that she pointed it out and hope that she does so forever but in a loving tone.

OK, I must never take her for granted..... Must really redeem myself....

I really love her lots....

To my faithful readers

Just like to say thank you to all my faithful readers of this blog! I love you (all)! Forever will love you (all)! Haha.... YOU know what I mean....

I will be back.... after lazing around for another few weeks or until you bug me again.....

It is raining on this evening of 20th Nov '07; a slow evening (by choice) in Singapore.